A Tall Man’s extremely honest Rant on Being Tall

Tall Man’s Tale on a Train

I was traveling by train (Indian Railways) and sleeping on the middle berth with my head facing the window and woke up to the voice of a tea seller in the morning. All I did was stretch my legs and hear “chaiyee, chaai, chaai, chayeeeukkkk.” You guessed it right! The poor tea vendor had to taste my feet early in the morning. The guy could see that I was visibly embarrassed, and he accepted my apology. What a great way to start a day for both of us!

Height is a tricky concept. Did you know that the height of a person changes over a day? It happens due to the compression of intervertebral discs caused by the pull of gravity during the day. The pressure is relieved off your spine when you sleep, causing expansion and change in height.

They all write that tall men are seen as powerful, attractive, healthy individuals and blah blah blah. I would, for a change, like to share the other side of the story. I am a 6.1 ft. tall man, and no matter what place I visit, the beds are always a bit shorter.

You know, winter chills. Do you know the dilemma of having to choose between keeping either your face or your feet warm? That’s the story of my life every time I travel. It is not a powerful experience when you have to sleep, placing your feet hanging in the air, you know? I have an eternal hatred towards undersized blankets now.

6 Random Things Tall Man Hear Often 

Being a 6.1 feet man, I get to hear these six things a lot:

1. At swimming pools: Dude, teach me how to swim! Could you save me from drowning? (It doesn’t matter if I know how to swim or not because the pool’s maximum depth is 6 ft. here)

2. At theme parks: Sorry! The ride is not suitable for your height and weight.

3. Random people I meet: Do you play basketball (For one last time NO!).

4. Colleagues: Man! you keep growing taller! What do you eat?

5. Stoned friends of friends: How tall are you? You must be popular with the ladies (I wish!)

6. Some random person: What is it like being a tall man? 

Tall Man’s Problems

The mirrors in bathrooms are placed a bit low, so I always have to bend down or step back to do anything that involves looking in the mirror. The showerhead is low too. So a nice shower standing straight or relaxing in a standard bathtub becomes impossible. Even the toilets are awkwardly small at places. Every time I go to my hometown, I get bumped on the forehead thanks to low door frames and low staircases.

On the other hand, I think the guys who design public transport choose to eliminate the case of people who are 6 ft. and taller. The legroom is very cramped in public buses, city cars, even airplanes! It is hard to even stand during transit with the support handles hitting your face in public buses and local trains. There is always someone who manages to stamp my feet in movie theatres, thanks to such colossal legroom. Anything from changing bulbs, cleaning ceilings to getting things off the attic, I become the default ladder at home.

Yes, we can help people put their luggage in the right place in public buses and trains but C’mon! Being a tall man doesn’t mean we are Olympic weight lifters too (Indian way of packing luggage, I tell you – “Don’t judge the weight of a bag by its appearance“). I even hurt my back trying to do this on one occasion.

Another annoying problem we face is finding the right fit in clothes and shoes. In most of the showrooms/shops I visit for buying shoes, I get an answer that size ten is the maximum, and they only have shoes from expensive brands matching my size, that too, just 2 or 3 models. In short, shoes choose me. Unfair, isn’t it? (But that’s life if you are too Tall man!)

My foot size is a comfortable 12, and my Bigfoot (Indian standards) feet socks don’t fit well either. Coming to clothing, I do not get to buy all my favorite clothes because 3 in 5 times, the sleeves are shorter than my hands and trousers are a bit short. Buying clothes online is so confusing, with size charts varying for different brands.

I have always been pushed back! By back, I mean back. Starting from being forced to be the backbencher in school and college to group photographs. The photographer is my enemy. I am always the guy at the back. No one wants to stand next to you because they say you make them look short. 

Enough!!

In a nutshell, if you ask me if being tall man is good or bad? I hope you got your answer.

Written By: Mr. Krio- the Tall man

Edited by: Pavni Sairam- the not- so- tall- woman.

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