‘It shouldn’t matter how slowly some children learn as long as we encourage them not to stop.’ says Milan Singh, mother of special kid Samar Singh. Great mentality. Isn’t it? Still, not everyone would agree as our society considers these kids abnormal or weak, but they are equally talented and deserving. It’s us who fail to accept them because they behave differently. They are slow learners, but they aren’t unworthy.
Today’s narrator Milan Singh will change your perspective about these special kids.
Her son’s story will teach you not to judge anyone because when you judge someone based on a diagnosis, you miss out on their abilities, beauty, and uniqueness. Let us hear it.
Milan Singh – My Story
I’m Milan Singh. Currently, I’m living in Indore with my family. We have been doing business trading and export goods for 16 years, and my husband has a job in the same field. We have two boys Samar and Adamya.
Samar is our first child. He has been autistic since his birth, but we didn’t know about it. Since his birth, his growth was slow, like he’d never look at us eye to eye, took extra time in learning to walk, wouldn’t smile, or won’t speak. He was unlike other kids but didn’t ponder over it much as we thought maybe he was picking his milestones slowly.
When he turned 3, people started suggesting that we should take him to a doctor. Our neighbor guessed that he was deaf and dumb as he never responded to whatever we said, but I didn’t believe it because whenever I called him to eat chocolate or cake, he’d immediately come out of the room. So the possibility was negligible.
So we thought, why is it happening to our child? After some time, we went to the doctor for his checkup. Post a few checkups. He told us that Samar is autistic, and at that time, we didn’t know what it meant. He revealed that autistic kids could listen or speak, but they chose to stay silent. They always live in their own space and world.
We were shocked when we learned that Autism is a lifelong, non-progressive disorder that has no cure. It is more like a developmental disability that affects verbal, non-verbal, and social interaction. I was heartbroken when I came to know that my little boy, who was merely three years old, would never be able to live everyday life. For a mother, even the thought of something happening to her child is scary, and here I had to deal with his lifelong disorder.
My husband and other family members encouraged me, and I decided to act tough. Firstly, we accepted that he was autistic, and we needed to live with this fact. It’s never going to be changed.
We began by sending him to a special school and therapy. With time, he started responding a little. However, his growth was still slow compared to a normal kid, but we knew it would be there, so we stayed patient and let things unfold. Apart from it, Samar was diagnosed with ADHD, which is a hyperactivity syndrome-like. He would never sit in one place for more than a minute.
He used to run around all the time, and it was tedious for me to manage him all the time. I had to be extra careful with him. We wanted him to try different things, so we kept sending him to different classes. Some of them worked in our favor. Some didn’t.
Let me tell you a couple of incidents of his childhood. Once he got lost in a mall, I had a hard time finding him as he didn’t speak to anyone. I kept looking, went to the announcement area, searched every possible place and then, at last, I found him in a toy shop. He was busy with cars and bikes.
Another, when he was sitting on the outer window of our apartment. We lived on the 6th floor. He was sitting there without even realizing what could happen if he fell from there. I lost my mind when I saw him sitting in that place. I couldn’t do anything as it would’ve distracted him. Somehow, I got him down, and that day I realized that he doesn’t fear anything. From that day, I began to stay more cautious. Most of the time, I kept the main door closed and did other things to make sure he was safe and sound.
Society’s reaction was quite hard. Some were supportive, but many people reacted aggressively whenever Samar was around them. I can recall a particular incident that hurt me a lot.
There was an apartment next to our house where two small girls lived with their families. They had so many toys, and Samar was fascinated by them. So he used to run away to their house whenever he got the opportunity. Both girls were scared of him because of his different behavior. Their grandfather strongly detested his presence. He complained to me multiple times, so I used to make sure that he stayed inside. But Samar was fast, and he’d anyhow reach there.
Once, the old man said to him, ‘I’ll shoot you if you ever come back to my house.’ He was threatening Samar. I had gone to check on him, so I overheard the talk. I lost my temper and yelled at him for warning my kid. We spat, and I tried to reason that he was not an average child but wouldn’t understand.
Rather than apologizing, he said, ‘Why don’t you keep him inside your house? He keeps coming back here. Chain him or lock him in the house if he doesn’t listen to you.’ It hurt me a lot, and I began to cry, wail loudly. I was so angry that I wanted to call the police. His son apologized on his behalf, and we ended the fight. There were many incidents like this when people didn’t even show the slightest sympathy. Instead, they used to taunt us, but I didn’t let it affect my mind. Throughout the time, I kept hoping for his better growth and worked to improve his condition.
A few years later, Adamya was born. Initially, I was skeptical about going for another child as I wanted to focus on Samar, but others suggested that I go for it. Samar will have a company. After Adamya’s birth, Samar began to improve. He started taking care of his little brother. We noticed changes in his behavior. Now, he was more careful around other little kids as well.
At the age of 13, I noticed that he was interested in baking as I loved baking, and he used to stand next to me to see how I cooked. With time, he started focusing more on cooking like he would tell me, “Mamma, I want cake,” and I’d say, ‘Okay, I’ll make it for you.’ He would collect all the equipment and utensils for the cake and stay there until he finished the work. So he knew what things were required to bake a cake. That’s how I noticed his passion for baking.
Then he overtook my position and started making things like making cakes, cupcakes, or fudge. Samar turned extremely good with baking, and we decided to open a bakery for him. That’s how ‘The Blggish Baker’ started. I choose this name because my boy is 6’4″, and it suits his personality.
We are still taking baby steps with the business. I’m slowly teaching him more about it. Right now, he is not aware that he is doing business. Whenever we get an order, I tell him that we need to deliver it to the customer. Samar and Adamya both share a great bond. I have come a long way with him. When I look back, I feel proud for staying positive and for pinning hopes on Samar. He turned out well, and I feel blessed for having him in my life. He’s worth the sacrifices I made.
In the end, I want to say please do not treat special kids as special. We need to treat them like normal children. Also, parents need to understand that special children can succeed. They are capable enough of doing it. As my child, Samar is trying to adopt his passion into a business. Other kids can also become successful. You have to stay positive and patient. Just have faith in your child. That’s it.
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