Dealing with loss is very difficult. It becomes more difficult when you deal with the loss of your loved ones. Pets are one of the most special bonds we built in our daily lives. I still remember my pet puppy-Timmy.

It was a frosty November evening in 2017 when a stray dog once again gave birth to 7 or 8 sugar lumps. I was not happy because last year, too, she had many pups, and none survived the heavy traffic of my area. Anyway, my mom started feeding them milk and biscuits. The same ordeal commenced again. All the pups died except two. One boy seemed robust enough to survive to adulthood, and the other one was a feeble girl.

As the time lapsed, the feeble girl grew up into a dominatrix [pun intended] and loved to bash around the other dogs. Her brother, opposite the expectations, became her punching bag. She grew up to be my adopted dog – Timmy, named by my mom. She used to sleep at my doorstep. Our day started with her barks for a bowl or two of milk and crunchy biscuits. Nobody dared to feed her stale biscuits!

In her entire life, she never peed or pooped inside our building. She was loved by sundry, but many kicked her too.

She fell in love with another dog and had her pups when she was just a year old. Unfortunately, her joys of motherhood were very short-lived as her pups died away too soon. However, it was that fateful day when she lay still on the doorstep of my flat. My mom realized she was more still than usual and a cough smeared on her mouth. She had a hump near her neck and was not able to stand.

She was dizzy and tripped too, and I contacted the local vet and gave her the prescribed diet and medicines. But her condition worsened. I took her to his clinic, where he put her on a drip and administered other life-saving fluids. I brought her back. She never woke up from that unconscious sleep but peed continuously. I spent the whole night mopping the common passage to avoid the wrath of my neighbors. When the other flat owners noticed she is sick and has the leanest chances of survival, they had her thrown on a heap of garbage. I tried my best to stop them but to no avail.

I was severely ill myself. Still, I went down in a drizzle to give it one more dose. She was still struggling to survive. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I arduously prayed to God for help. In the nick of time, the son of my building secretary noticed me standing in the rain and crying. He asked-” Jyoti! Is that Timmy? What happened? Why is she here, and why are you drenching yourself in the rain? “ That was it. He was my childhood friend, but at that time, he seemed like an angel.

I started crying loudly. For the first time, I felt like a helpless mother whose baby is severely ill. I narrated the entire story and begged him for help. He took pity on both of us and asked me to take the dog under the shelter of my building garage.

I ran to my neighbors, who too had a canine pet, and asked for help. I swallowed my self-esteem and personal hate for her. I begged everyone for help. Finally, a dog-lover came to our aid. She took me to a reputed vet who said that Timmy has her vertebrae damaged. She was suffering from acute pneumonia and had the leanest chances of revival.

He refused to treat her and expressed his disappointment towards the other vet who failed to diagnose her correctly. I begged the vet with folded hands. The dog lover noticed my pain and pleaded with the vet to at least give it a try. The vet got her admitted to a dog shelter for better care. I saw Timmy lying on a blanket and moving her limbs like fighting with demons in her dreams inside the shelter room. That was the final time I saw her. I had no job and earned very little with freelancing.

But I spent all I had. I came back and prayed for the best. The next day I was told on a call that she pooped precisely at 3 am and passed away instantly without waking up. I felt like the heavens fell upon my head.

The Pain of losing Timmy

I cried and cried for days on end. My mom and I stopped buying biscuits. I started hating dogs. But life goes on. Days passed. Still, I couldn’t find solace. I couldn’t focus on anything.

The pain of her loss was excruciating. My heart shattered into a million pieces when I recalled how the local vet duped me and made Timmy suffer from so much pain.

I cursed myself for being so stupid, or sometimes I hated God for taking her away so quickly. 

One day I broke down into tears when I saw an old picture of hers tucked away in an old folder on my computer. I started recalling everything she had to endure, and it pained me more than before, but I decided to call it a day. I realized running away from my pain will only make it worse.

The healing

I grew wary of nursing an unwanted hatred for the furry strays. I decided to do something to heal myself. I took to social media to express my grief. Sharing my pain helped me to acknowledge my void. Many people shared their own experiences. 

Then Fb introduced me to NGOs that worked for strays. I started following them and sharing their blogs. I contacted my nearest NGO and donated a little sum. I started feeling better about myself.

When I look back, I realize she was a true warrior. She didn’t give up on life despite being thrown in a garbage heap. I remember my Timmy as a source of hope and a symbol of zeal. I know she is bouncing in heaven amongst the angels as I write her story.

How to deal with the loss- A strategy that can help

I understand that everybody’s response to pain is different. Still, I’d like to share some tips to overcome your loss.

• Talk about it – Don’t let the pain dig deep dungeons into your heart. Talk about it and share it with your friends and family. If you stay alone or in a foreign land, then use social media to vent your anguish.
• Take care of other pets – If you lost your baby, they lost their playmate or a sibling. They may not speak but believe me. They are pained too. A mere act of negligence will only negate their chances of revival from the trauma.
• Pay a tribute– Pay tribute to your pet by either organizing a community service or performing the traditional rituals for the dead. It will keep you calm from inside. Such rites are performed to remind the mortality of humankind. Nobody will live forever. The realization of death as the ultimate truth gives psychological support.
• Don’t blame yourself – If you opted for euthanasia for your pet, don’t blame yourself for betrayal. You saved your baby from a painful or maybe crippled life. You have chosen a painless farewell for your friend for which their soul will be grateful. 
• If you, too, were a victim of medical negligence, then forgive the culprits and move on. No amount of revenge or hatred for them will bring your child back.
• Be social and charitable – Being vocal on social media about your story will not only give you supporters, but your story will serve as a lesson for others. Volunteering for animal rights associations or NGOs or donating in cash or kind for the pro-animal NGOs will give you immense joy and respite from anguish.
• Express it – If you are an artist- a writer, a painter, or skilled in some other artform, then use your boon to vent your pain. Write the story of your fur baby and get it published. Paint their image on the canvas with your favorite hues. The pain will gradually fade away.
• Seek professional advice – If you find yourself trapped in the shackles of guilt, pain, or anger, don’t shy away from seeking professional help. Don’t try to shut your mind chatter with logic. It will bloom with more force. Accept that you need help. Seek professional guidance. Remember, pain takes time to fade away.

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