We are back with the second part of Virali Modi’s story Defeating disability. So do read this inspiring story. If you haven’t read the first part, we suggest you go back and read it first; otherwise, you won’t understand the story. So do it, and let’s continue listening to the story.
Virali Modi – My story
On the 5th of October, they shifted me to another ward and pulled out the ventilator from my mouth, only to put it in my throat. I came out of a coma after the anesthesia wore off.
Coming back to life wasn’t easy either because I was declared paralyzed from the neck down after gaining consciousness. Initially, I didn’t know about it. I could feel my body’s movement. However, I couldn’t comprehend that I wasn’t able to lift it. It was my assumption, and there was no movement in reality.
Then after a couple of days, my grandmother revealed the truth. After learning about reality, I turned silent. I didn’t talk to anyone because I needed time to process the information. With time, I convinced my mind to accept it. I confided in myself that ‘It’s okay even if I’m not able to move my body. It doesn’t matter if I believe that I’m able to move it, then my body will adapt my belief, and it will react accordingly.’ However, it was pretty impossible to keep my mind away from negativity and disappointment. These emotions would crawl back no matter how many times I tried to drive away.
I remember crying every night after getting discharged from the hospital. Once I was crying, and my mother said, Are you done with crying? Or do you want to cry more? Would you be able to change anything on your own?’ I said NO. She replied, ‘Why are you ruining your life now? Live with what you have right now. You have gotten a second chance. People don’t get it that easily. Live courageously and accept your reality.’ Her words gave me the much-needed push, and I finally stopped crying.
I reached out to my friends one day, but they informed me that they didn’t want to talk to me. They don’t wish to hang out with me anymore. Honestly, at that moment, I yearned to give up on my life, and I even tried committing suicide. My relatives instructed their kids to stay away from me. They said to their children, ‘Stay away from Virali. You will also become disabled if you come in contact with her. To maintain a safe distance from her.’ It was outrageous because they had stopped considering me a part of the family.
Their remarks, taunts, and mean behavior affected my morale negatively. I still remember the harsh words they said while helping my father in picking me up. They were ‘She has gained so much weight. She is too fat to be carried around. It hurts my back whenever I do it. This girl is good for nothing human.’ These lines used to break my heart into pieces. However, my family always stayed beside me. My mother kept encouraging me to continue with life and accept reality.
Then she performed an exercise that changed my perspective. Once I was trying to sit, I couldn’t as I was paralyzed from the neck down. You can see me as a newborn baby. My mother sat me up against the sofa. I told her that I was hungry and I’d like to eat something. She brought a couple of bowls and kept my favorite crackers in them. Then she kept them around me. Her action confused me because I was sitting across the sofa, and she knew I couldn’t pick them up.
I asked her, ‘Mom, why are these bowls here? Just give me something to eat. I’m hungry. Can you feed me?’ She sat behind me and said, ‘If you are hungry, then get it yourself. I’m not your maid. I’m your mother. I also get tired of taking care of you.’ She was extremely rude to me, but she said, ‘Do it yourself. You can move. You can do everything, so do it and feed yourself.’ I looked at her with teary eyes, but it didn’t melt her heart. She still had the same challenging but hopeful expressions on her face.
I said, ‘Okay, fine, if you want me to do this. If you believe in me, then I need to believe in myself too. I need to do this, and I will do it.’ I slowly crawled towards the bowl. You won’t believe I took 40 minutes to pick up one cracker. I put it in my mouth, and a strong sense of satisfaction and confidence hugged my mind.
I can never describe the feeling in words because that satisfaction of doing something by myself despite being paralyzed took my morale and fighting spirit to another level. It was indeed a life-changing movement. I took an oath not to let physical condition hinder the progress of my personal growth and life. I went through psychotherapies and other medical treatments to get better. They did help a lot.
Then another life-changing incident made me what I’m today. In 2008, I had finally shifted to India. We were going to Delhi. I was unable to make it to the compartment. My mom called a porter and asked him to carry me in his arms. He wrapped one hand around my body and kept another underneath my arms to hold me. As soon as I went inside, the porter started molesting me. Everybody was there in the compartment, and no one was speaking against it. There was pin-drop silence.
I didn’t say anything because I was scared. What if he left me or I fell off his arms? No one would believe me either. People will only sympathize. So I didn’t reveal it. The same incident occurred thrice.
One of the worst facts about India is that there are no ramps on railway platforms. Administrations don’t see building a ramp as their responsibility. So I decided to file a petition against it. My parents supported my decision, and I filed a Change.org petition titled ‘Implement Disabled Friendly Measures in Indian Railways.’ Apart from it, I launched the #MyTrainToo campaign petition, which more than 6 Lakh people signed.
Then with the help of a railway official in South India, we made six stations fully accessible for physically challenged individuals.
Right now, I’m a disability rights advocate, former Miss India Wheelchair Runner Up, Motivational Speaker, Published Writer, and a Quora Influencer. I aim to bring awareness to Indian society about disability and women’s rights.
I shot for Salman Khan’s NGO Being Human, Big Bazaar, FBB, and I was the showstopper of Bombay times fashion week. BBC included me in the list of the Hundred most influential and inspirational women (2017). I also won the Rising Star of Mumbai award and many others.
My parents, family, friends, and followers are my real supporters. What I’m in my life I’m because of them. Without their support, I wouldn’t have come so far.
To conclude my story, I want to say that no one can stop you from achieving your goals and dreams. Your gender, skin color, disability, sexual identity, or sexual preference doesn’t play any role in your success. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Fight for your identity because you have to fight for what you believe in and for what you want. So never give up in life.
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