Our society has always been partial to the LGBT+ community. They are fighting for decades for acceptance and human rights.
Ashish Chopra is one of those individuals who are trying to change society’s mindset and asking others to support it. However, his journey wasn’t easy at all. He had faced many hardships in the battle still; he shunned all the problems that came in his path and told the world who he wished to be.
The tussle between the so-called conventionalists and the maltreated LGBTQIA community is not hidden from anyone. Our nation has rarely made this “unnatural” group feel welcomed, let alone be making any strides in the direction to lie down an environment to deliver justice.
Even in 2021, this community and its supporters are struggling for their rights. Although we can see rays of hope falling on our paths. People are embracing the change & the battle for gender equality is being waged with all its might. People are voicing their concerns and inspiring dozens of people from the community to come up and embrace their identities with ‘pride’. Let us hear his story to applaud his efforts.
Ashish Chopra – His Story
I’m Ashish Chopra. I was born in Nagpur and I completed my BBA from Symbiosis, then I earned placement in a big IT firm. This information seems normal to people, but for me, achieving this status was no less than a war.
Since childhood, I knew I was different. With time, I realized that I’m gay. It didn’t feel right because I thought there was something unethical in it. It was tough for me to accept the fact, and I struggled for years to find solace in my identity.
While growing up, I used to watch a lot of Roshan movies. That’s how I realized my sexual preference because of this obsession. Everyone constantly nagged me and asked me why I was only obsessed with Hrithik and not any female actors like Priyanka, Katrina, or Kareena. I used to argue with them, telling Hrithik was better. But they thought I was too feminine to be a man so, they bullied me. They called me on terms like ‘Chhakka’ and ‘Hijda’.
My school life was the most challenging part of the journey. Fellow students taunted and mistreated me. My classmates would beat and bully me whenever they’d feel like doing it. I was a naïve kid, so they used to take advantage of my calmness, as I never hit back. I avoided school by making excuses like ‘I’m suffering from a stomachache or headache or any other that I could make to do it.
Today, while thinking about my past, I just hope no one ever gets tormented like this for their different behavior especially kids. It’s truly traumatic to be in that situation.
Adults know that something like LGBTQIA exists. But children are unaware of the third gender. People still find it hard to accept the third gender because our basic education never taught us. I somehow survived school because of my three friends.
Though my friends always treated me warmly. For me, it was difficult to talk about what I felt and how I felt about it. It was tough to confess, but I revealed the truth in front of them. Unlike others, they never judged me or made me feel left out. They helped me in accepting my identity and told me that there was nothing wrong with being a Gay.
When I grew up, I told the truth to my family. So I came out to my brother in the whole family. I was so afraid of what my brother would think once he knew about my identity. Initially, it was new to him, so he took time to adjust to the information. But soon, he became my pillar of strength. Then he started supporting me whenever someone fought with me. He was the only one who stayed beside me in my thick and thin.
After finishing high school, I moved to Pune for my college. I didn’t want anybody to know in the college that I was gay. Based on my experiences, I knew people would bully me once they found out. So I made excuses whenever I went to a LGBTQIA party or to meet a boy. I followed the same routine for months.
Truthfully, I was fed up with my life. I hated living in a closed box where I could not tell the people who I am? I had done nothing wrong to deserve it, and despised telling lies and making excuses only to live a normal life. I wasn’t committing a crime. So I told my roommate about my sexuality and I was successful in it. However, he couldn’t keep it to himself and the next day the whole college came to know about it. I was afraid as I thought that this whole thing would explode on me, but nothing happened. No one in the college minded my identity. Rather, they supported me.
My friend circle in Pune – from the college and the LGBT+ community became like the second family to me. They taught me to explore and express myself. Once I started being myself rather than hiding my identity, I felt free. People admired me and accept me. It didn’t seem wrong anymore. I completed my BBA degree from Symbiosis.
After that, I bagged a placement in a good IT company. At the workplace, no one had an idea, and I didn’t reveal it to them as I had heard rumors that gays were fired or denied promotions. That’s why I had decided to keep it away. Though my colleagues found out through social media. They asked me what they saw on social media was true or not and was really gay or not? I confided in them. I had doubts it may affect my job, but they were okay with it. Suddenly, the news spread all over the office like a wildfire.
Some people supported me, while some talked behind my back. There were some instances when colleagues asked me about how I felt being transgender. I educated them about how transgender and gays were different people.
My story took a sharp turn from that point. I began conducting sessions where I answered all the corporate employees’ questions, such as – what the LGBT stands for, how can anyone be an ally, or how can people be more supportive? I used to explain everything.
I was not just answering questions to my colleagues, but I was facing my real identity. Slowly and gradually, the fear of encountering people as gay left my back. I was not afraid of being gay anymore. I had stopped hiding in a closet. Finally, I was proud of myself.
Though my family gave me a hard time. They were not ready to accept me even when everyone did. When my mom found out about me, she overreacted. She was shocked beyond consolation and she consulted a psychiatrist who told her he could cure me. He suggested shock therapies and medicines. My father got to know about it through a newspaper article. He hurled so many remarks all at once. He asked me why I told the entire world about it. Why am I bringing shame to my family? Despite my family’s stereotypical views, my cousins and the rest of the family members were supportive.
My dad has still not come face to face with the fact that I am gay. But there have been tremendous changes in my mother’s behavior. My brother understood my identity, so he helped mom and educated her. She took her time, but she accepted me for who I was. My mother even walked the Delhi pride parade with me. Earlier, I would have never thought of it. It was the most shocking and happiest moment of my life.
Journalists came to us and asked us to appear for an interview. Now, my mom has taken over my brother in terms of support. She is helping the community in any way she can. She even started talking to other families who are struggling to accept their kids for who they are. Now, mom is my biggest supporter.
Once 15-20 people have kicked me in a group and many a times people sexually abused and bullied me and touched me. I constantly get abusive messages on social media accounts. But I have grown above them. I have learned from my past how to keep negativity away. I have understood that I must love myself as who I am and spread positivity because life is already too short to cry or to think negatively.
Currently, I am working with an organization. They respect my identity. I have made a lot of friends from the community through social media and pride parades. It’s nice to have people around who share the same experiences as you. I dream of becoming a role model to LGBTQIA kids. I want to let them know that they can become a successful person. There’s nothing wrong with being true to yourself.
Words of Wisdom
If I could say something to readers, I would say -‘’ If you know someone from a LGBTQIA community, reach out to them. Tell them you will be supportive because they really want to hear it. Keep spreading the message that you can be an ally. Attend pride parades, rallies, and marathons to show aid to the LGBT+ community”.
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