It is the story of Tanisha Tuteja’s father. He chose to be a single parent to his daughter after his divorce. Because for him, only his daughter mattered over everyone else. And even with all the possible difficulties, he proved that he was enough for his daughter’s upbringing. His gender doesn’t define his love for his daughter.
Parenting is a tiresome task. Even with every effort one puts in, there is no assurance that the outcome will be likable. That is the case with two parents. Imagine raising a child alone without her mother on the side. We can’t imagine the problems and sacrifices that a single parent has to endure.
Still, our society rarely appreciates a father for his job. On the other hand, a mother is said to be the best for children’s upbringing. But it is never always the case. There are times when a father does a better parenting job than a mother.
Let’s hear the story of one such father from his daughter.
Tanish Tuteja – My Story
I am Tanish Tuteja. I was born in Bilaspur, Chhattisgarh, to Sindhi-Sikh parents. My parents had a love marriage. They tied the knot in an era when love marriage was considered a crime in India, especially an InterCast love marriage.
My father came from a hardcore Sikh family, and my mother belonged to a pure Sindhi family. Both of them were so in love and wanted to get married. They also knew that no one would accept their love in the whole family. So, with the help of some friends and relatives, they ran away and got married. Their marriage was the first love marriage in the whole of Bilaspur.
After their marriage, both families accepted them. Years passed, and I was born. Things went on smoothly for a while. When I turned 2, Dad met with an unfortunate accident. He had injured his knee, so doctors had to replace his knee cap with a rod in a procedure. Dad never recovered from the accident, and his left leg always remained straight.
The accident changed everything in my family. After the fracture, Mom gave her hopes in the relationship because he would never be able to feed the family.
My father was tied up in bed, making him more agitated and annoyed. That’s why both of them started fighting frequently. Relationship issues grew, and they became more distant.
One day, my mother decided to walk out of the marriage. The relationship she had fought for against the whole world didn’t matter anymore. And the only reason behind it was my father’s physical deformity, which he had no control over.
My father silently accepted her decision, as he didn’t wish to trouble her more. After finishing the legal formalities of divorce, they went their separate ways. Mom took me with her to my maternal grandparents’ home in Indore. I was a kid, and I wasn’t young enough to understand the surrounding things.
Even after the separation, Dad used to call me every single day. I would talk to him innocently without knowing what had happened to my parents.
I remember trying to hold the phone and talking to Dad while he listened to the bickering of a two-year-old girl. It became our daily routine and continued for years. Throughout the time, he remained close to me. My maternal grandmother (Nani) didn’t like me much. So, I was not treated well in the house. I faced discrimination at a very young when I didn’t know what it even meant.
One day, my father visited me at Nani’s house. When he came to know about everything, he broke into tears.
He wanted to have my custody. So he thought to file for it. However, it was difficult for him to get my custody because Indian law favors a mother over a father in any custodial case. Dad thought to let it go considering my age. He felt that at this age, I’d need my mother more.
A while later, my mother found someone, and she got married right in front of my eyes. Her new family was not ready to accept me. So she left me at Nani’s house to move forward with her new family. Back at Nani’s home, they treated me very poorly.
Nani used to make me do dishes, clean things, and hit me. She also made me sit around the home stove for hours. I was just five years old. My only savior in the house was my Masis. Mom visited me daily, but it was an entirely different experience after she was gone.
My father had to visit the town for a wedding a while later. He came to meet me at Nani’s house. He was unaware of Mom’s second marriage and how I was left behind. As soon as I saw Dad, I broke down into tears as I wasn’t living happily there. I burst out in front of him. He was shocked and agitated after knowing the truth.
Moreover, he was angry at my mother for leaving me behind. Thus, he asked my mother to let him have my custody if she could not keep me. They planned to meet each other.
That meeting is etched in my brain. Still, I can recall its flashes. My family was sitting together, trying to conclude. At last, they asked me. They told me to choose between my mother and father, and I instantly chose my father. It was the most challenging choice I’ve ever made in my life.
My mother was already in her life, so she didn’t object to his request. She never put up a fight to have me in her life. She just gave up living with her new family. I don’t know what her situation was. Maybe it was more difficult than I could imagine. But as a kid, being abundant by her mother left a significant impact on my mind. It made me question everything that existed around me. I asked myself, ‘What do I have to call mine? Then I looked at my father and got my answer. He was all mine. I belong to him.
Finally, Dad took me with him. Things were not easy for both of us. If I analyze from his angle, I can understand how difficult it would have been for him to raise me alone. But he raised me with whatever he had to give. He became both my father and mother too.
In the beginning, we lived with his mother, but we shifted to my uncle’s place when my grandmother passed away. There Badi Maa and Bade Papa took care of me.
When I turned nine, Dad met with another accident. It was the day before Diwali. Dad had promised that he would take me to the first show of Om Shanti Om after he was back. But his bike fell on the same left leg. His leg was fractured, and he came home with a plaster on his leg.
Continued reading part-2 of this story…
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