We are back with the second part of Shraddha Upadhyay’s story Loving You Was A Mistake. So do read this inspiring story. If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you go back and read it first; otherwise, you won’t understand a thing. So do it, and let’s continue listening to Shraddha Upadhyay’s story.
Shraddha Upadhyay – My Story Continues
When I shifted to Mumbai, I taught myself to live without him and started creating distance between us. It was my bad luck when I migrated to Mumbai. He also shifted to Mumbai with me.
From here started the horrible phase of my life. This time, he was around me at my workplace. In the office, he used to tell everyone that we were married and I was his wife. I had become a scapegoat, and I was afraid of him. I used to think, what if anyone gets hurt because of me and I won’t do anything. So I did whatever he told me. Out of fear, I used to fulfill his tiny wishes. He wasn’t my boyfriend anymore but a master. Such relationships do nothing but cut you off from everyone, and you lose your self-confidence and happiness. The same was happening to me.
There was a guy in my office. He doubted my strange behavior, so he used to ask me why are you so quiet in the office? Why don’t you talk to other people? What is wrong with you? I tried disclosing it, but my boyfriend would appear whenever I attempted to do it.
Then I applied for a job in a new office. He also did the same, but he didn’t get it. So he tried convincing me to leave the job. He said we would work together in the same office, and I argued, saying, ‘It’s a good opportunity, and I don’t want to leave it.’ I went ahead and grabbed the opportunity. That 9 to 6 job was very peaceful for me. At least, I had time to breathe.
This relationship lasted till 2016, throughout the time I was abused. I didn’t sleep a single night in that year because if he called me at night and I didn’t pick up his call, he’d assume that I was cheating on him. Torture was a small word for what I was born in that abusive relationship. He was forcing me to get married, and I knew there would be no looking back if I agreed to it.
You won’t believe I was troubled so much that I wanted to end my life. It seemed a better option than dating him, but my parents, family, and dreams stopped me from taking the step.
When I switched my job, it became tougher to handle him. He’d appear anytime after my office hours. He used to force me to spend time with him. It turned unbearable, so I decided to call it off. We were in his flat, and he was abusing and physically harassing me, so I fought hard, and I ran away from the house. I tried to get out of the apartment, but he pulled me back from the stairs and took me on the terrace. We were near the ledge, and he said, ‘I will push you down if you think of leaving me.’
But I didn’t change my decision. I was ready to give up on my life but staying back wasn’t an option. He slapped me, and it was so hard that my lips started bleeding. I ran from there, and I was walking on the road alone, crying loudly. He was trying to stop me by pulling my t-shirt, hair and by addressing me with words like sl*t and wh*re. It didn’t stop me. People were ogling at us, but no one came forward to help.
Despite trying a lot, he couldn’t stop me. I reached my home and broke down. My parents were horrified when I disclosed everything. I thought they might kick me out, but their reaction was precisely the opposite. They understood my plight and scolded me for hiding it. They supported me even when I told them that I was in a live-in relationship with him and he could tarnish my reputation.
Unlike others, they didn’t pay much attention to society’s reaction or social pressure. Instead, they took care of me so I could move on and feel better about myself. I regretted burying the truth for so long.
My uncle (mama) filed a complaint against Zain, and the police arrested him after two days of the complaint. He had gone underground, but they searched him. Finally, he was behind bars. Zain’s parents were upset with the arrest. I shared a good relationship with his mother. She was a warm-hearted lady, and she didn’t know what her son was doing with me. She was unfortunate when I revealed it to her.
His parents requested that I should take the charges down. They weren’t able to get him out of jail. I pondered over the thought, and I agreed to it. We took the complaint back and opted for a restriction order. I know you must be thinking I shouldn’t have done it, but his parents were in pretty bad shape. I couldn’t see their pain.
From here, my moving phase began. I was scared, and I wouldn’t step out of my home. I wouldn’t talk much. His memories haunted me at night. My parents were trying to cheer me up. They were so supportive and understanding that sometimes I’d blame myself for putting them through it.
They didn’t blame me for anything. Instead, they said, ‘We are proud of you because you didn’t take any wrong step. You didn’t harm yourself or him. At last, you came to us. Otherwise, anything could have happened to you.’ Their support truly warmed my heart, and I decided to move on.
I resumed working, but I was afraid of going alone. My friends and family used to drop and pick me up from the workplace. They’d stay at my place at night only to cheer me up. Gradually, the fear, panic attack, and anxiety faded, and I was able to move on.
After a while, I received a sorry message from Zain. He said I’m sorry for whatever I did that was the movement of closer. I’m not saying that I’ve forgiven him, but I realized I need to forgive myself. It was my fault as well because I tolerated everything for two long years. He was living everyday life, so I also deserve a chance. Now, I have forgiven myself. I’m in a better place in my professional and personal life.
In the end, I want to say that don’t become a victim of circumstances. People will take advantage of you, so be courageous and fight for yourself.
I learned a great lesson from my experience: ‘ A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, dreams, or dignity. If your partner genuinely loves you, then he’ll let you live the way you want to. So, I mean never try to adjust with anyone. Never change yourself for anyone. Never hope that one day he will change because he won’t.’
If he makes you lose your family, friends, confidence, self-esteem, or happiness, then you need to lose him. Don’t expect love in return from him; otherwise, you will lose yourself. Fight back, walkout, forgive yourself, and move on with your life. Live it happily!
Like us on FB, if you find our content interesting: https://www.facebook.com/hatkestoryofficial/
Do you have an interesting incident or experience to share with the world? Write to us, and together we can discuss how to weave your story and present it to the world. Would you mind sending us your story?