We are back with the second part of Swagata Majumdar’s story Sharing Plight of Mothers. So do read this inspiring story. If you haven’t read the first part then we suggest you go back and read it first otherwise you won’t be able to understand the story. So do it and let’s continue listening to the story.
Swagata Majumdar – Sharing Plight of Mothers
I had already lost 10kgs in 10 days. When I was on the verge of giving up, my husband came to me. He sat beside me and said, ‘Swagata doctors won’t be able to save you. I know you don’t want to live, but you should fight for bringing change in those people’s lives who have also lost their babies. You can share their pain only if you live.’ Through his words, I had finally found my purpose. I knew if my sons saw me from heaven, I would make them proud.
My body started responding well. The gynecologist I was seeing said that she had never seen such a case before. It was all my husband’s words that were helping me to recover. My physical health after a long time was getting better. Though, it was not the same with my mental health.
I looked for support groups online to talk about my grief. We often overlook the power of talking about our pain, but it’s the greatest measure. I couldn’t find even a single child loss support group in India, in a country where the infant mortality rate is the highest. The support groups of the UK and US helped me a lot.
I met three other women suffering from the same loss. We all wanted to talk about our loss but didn’t find one in our time of need. We didn’t want any other mother to go through the same grief. So, together we opened India’s first baby loss support group named “Baby Loss India Support Group” on Facebook and “After Baby Loss” on Instagram.
We provided a platform for women to come and talk about their grief and help them process it. We know that we can’t decrease the pain, but we can understand and help them in their journey.
Gamma and Gannu gave me the courage to turn this devastating accident into a positive goal. My sons changed me to look at society from a philanthropic point of view. I opened up about my loss on social platforms. I wrote many posts about how child loss is still a stigma in the country.
Many times, I faced backlash and negative comments. Some people asked me to stop talking about my pain. I’m trying to gain attention. I’m seeking popularity and fame. Whereas some people said ‘You are in so much pain because you lost both of them. Things would have been different if one of them had survived.’ Which is not true at all. I’d have still grieved over the loss. I know when I am speaking on such platforms, I am giving voice to the mothers who need it. They get the courage to talk to me.
Once a lady, who lost her one and half month baby, came to know about me through FB. She visited me in Delhi. She told me about how her husband forced her into having another child. Nobody at home or even her husband talked about the loss. They just wanted her to move on by having another child as soon as possible. Our group talked and counseled her.
There was another instance where I met someone at a party. The lady identified me and asked me to accompany her in a lone corner. When we reached, she hugged me, and then she cried a lot. She told me that it was the first time someone understood her pain in three months. So, she couldn’t hold back her tears. When she told her husband about me, he asked her to stay away from me.
Like these, there had been several other incidents as well. After hearing their stories, I realize that I am doing the right thing. Now, nothing could change my decision and take my work away.
Numerous media houses and Instagram pages have taken my story. Twinkle Khanna came across my profile and liked it. After which, Tweak India reposted my story. We went viral after that repost. The support group got many more members, and many new mothers reached us.
BBC UK did a feature on me and a Pakistani woman. The feature talked about the subcontinent’s condition of infant deaths. It also included our story. Our work and how the support group empowered women who have gone through child loss grief. It’s been one year since we started the support group. I personally have helped 150 women over time.
Gamma and Gannu lived for two days on this Earth. The time may seem like a small time to others, but it matters to my husband and me. So, we both bake cakes on the 13th of every month to celebrate our sons’ birthday. On their first birth anniversary, we invited our close relatives for a birthday celebration. We distributed food among the underprivileged kids. We both know that they are still with us.
Currently, I am on a mission to make a government-authorized group under the Ministry of Women and Children welfare. Because there are no groups and no guidelines to extend support to women going through child loss. While in other countries like the UK and US, they have grief councils.
Our support group is slowly extending, and we are glad to talk to women about mental health. Society needs to be educated on the topic. They don’t even have information about the number of months women should wait before having another child. A lot has to be done in the area.
I am happy that we have started at least from somewhere. My Gamma and Gannu would be so proud, looking at me from heaven. I guess they will be telling other kids in heaven that their mother is an empathetic and strong woman.
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